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Ten Ways to Nurture Student Leaders

1.  Teach response-ability

Responsibilities should not be seen as burdens or punishments.  Leaders must respond to their duties according to their abilities.  When their response is lacking, then they must improve their ability level. Through practice, the ability to respond grows.

2.  Celebrate achievement & effort

No mater whether others do so or not—celebrate both achievement and effort.  Be over the top.  There is no such thing as too much genuine praise.

3.  Leadership is learned

Leadership is an ongoing process; it cannot be captured in a single moment and NO ONE is a born leader. Encourage learning “people skills.” Establish a high "comfort level" for open dialogue about issues. By being a good listener and allowing open dialogue to occur, leadership skills are encouraged.

4.  Respect means unconditional acceptance

Point out stereotypes and cultural misinformation depicted in movies, TV shows, computer games and other media. Challenge bias when it comes from friends and family members. Do not let the moment pass. Begin with a qualified statement: "Andrew just called people of XYZ faith 'lunatics.' What do you think about that, Jill?" Let children do most of the talking.

5.  Challenge exclusive behaviors & attitudes

When anyone says or does something that reflects biases or embodies stereotypes, point it out: “Why is that joke funny?” Leaders use humor to include—not exclude.

6.  Leaders must deal with rejection and failure

Acknowledge their troubles. Do not minimize the experience. Provide emotional support and brainstorm constructive responses.

7. Foster healthy group identities

For pre-teens and teens, belonging to a group and having an identity in that group is critical. Talking about the following three group identity issues encourages health group behavior: 1) Pride in one’s own group does not automatically mean another group or its members are the target of disrespect. 2) No group is entitled to special privileges. And 3) Putting other groups down does not elevate the status of one’s own group.

8.  Know what’s what and who’s who

If your child were playing a sport, knowing the rules and the coaches would be important. The same applies to life in a teen’s community at school or elsewhere. Knowing rules of conduct and the roles other people play at school, for example, can often be valuable.

9.  Be flexible but firm about family commitments

Be as supportive as possible.  When it is possible to accommodate the demands of student leadership, do so. When it is not possible, be clear and consistent about other priorities.

10.  Be there

Be a “true point.” Be there for the good times and the bad. Know what is going on, help when you can and LISTEN all the time.